‘SHALLOW’Youth

 

I believed
Bonds last across time and place.
And so will remain my youth,
Right there, intact, until a little less than eternity.
I believed
How i could always get drunk and wasted,
And how nothing can hold the sweet expectancy yesterday brewed.
I believed
(just how we all do naively)
And gave into the amidst of illusion that screams back timeless you ever will be.
I believed
There will come the right time,
And i will part ways from these people, places, perceptions; always humming a tune or two.
I believed
The mixtapes will keep on piling up on that rack,
And the videos will keep afresh all those memories that were created; as progenies of our togetherness.
I believed
All of us will fight and do gossips sipping life miseries with that tequila,about it all.
And then will dissolve thin borders formed between; like nothing at all.
I never wanted to believe
With shallow flicks and turns,
(that you know some will sulk, others will laugh it off)
And how this time i will keep on writing stories of my youth; with half of them erased off.
I had to believe
With the changed silhouette of this life,
(from a colourful painting to a lifeless, grieving memoir)
How the picture of our lives will always be; left half painted!

Possession

Your eyes fired death stares                        Your thoughts made me sick                      Your words whisper terror                         Your touch made me wobble

Still

You managed to grasp me all over again,                                                                With                                                                  Your temporary soothings                          That with time                                                I have discerned as warm and safe .

You left me so weak                                      that now                                                        the threat you evoke                                     is what I have perceived as home .

Clutched to take a step                                 or to search for another home .

You truly are a magician                              I wonder                                                          As how swiftly you have changed my existence  …..                                                  Into a lifeless havoc !

ABLAZE

I was incessantly looking out for someone
who can ignite the fire within me .

Time kept on lapsing ,
leaving no signs ,
no footprints.
Making it all too hard to resist .

It was only when ,
I decided to terminate each searching .

My journey finally ended.
And i realized where it all persists.

For that fire was always there ,
dwelling deep inside .
with it’s foundations strongly laid ,
roots profoundly engraved ,
solely within me .

Soaring heights

I kept on climbing the ladder ,
one step at a time ,
more or less ,
in pursuit of success .

Accompanying me were my mates ,
possessing similar dreams and fates .

At last ,

After my extensive toiling ,
the untangled path of success started uncoiling .

I reached the top ,
collected my breath and looked down ,
glimpses of worn out familiar faces encircled me ,
and a bizarre thought surfaced over ,
What if they exceeded my success key ?

How will I be able to retain my position ?
Taking hold on my conscience were these dreaded inhibitions .

I immediately ,
took out my axe .
Snithed the ladder beneath ,
putting my ambitious restless soul ,
back to relax.

Seeing them the People ,
tumbling on their backs and slip ,
I felt bounded by my guilt trip .

Swapping aside all such feelings,
I continued ,
For tasting success to me was more appealing .

I averted from that side ,
gripped my half lost pride

And

Started climbing on a bigger ladder ,
One last time .

अधूरापन

Aaine ke samne baithi ,

Khud ke chehre ko ,

woh baar baar tarashti rahi…..

Aur uski parchai uss andhere main bhi ,
Apni asli pehchaan talashti rahi….

PS- Hindi is such a beautiful language. Why Indian’s aren’t cherishing it , is beyond my conscience. It should be revered not neglected .

Wavering

Expression as that of a women’s body is a
Pandora box ,

Is all just a hoax .

For they who say it ,
Are the one’s who exploit it

The MOST .

Encapsulating The INNER LIGHT

There’s an uncanny glow in Eternalism ,
that assuages our grievances and devolves every possible uncertainty within.

And the same goes for Inner Light .
somewhere deeply engraved inside that dark soul ..

Unfazed ,
Realmless ,

It’s innate ,
Unfathomable ,

Constantly struggling for it’s ouster .
Often peeping from those small crevices just to remind us of it’s presence.

Instigating us , pinching us hard ,
to forge towards Our Purpose Of Life .

Waiting eagerly for us to open the door , and let it come out .
To let it radiate
And make our inhibitions indistinct.
To outshine our insecurities .
To ceasing us from relentlessly regretting over our failures .

And to unmask the facade ,
That we live under .

All it needs is that
One Awakening ,
that One Call .

Adamantine Bond

Make me your’s ,
Put me in those arms
Bind me in these chains of endless amours ,
And make me disencharm
from the lonely horrors that it evokes ,
the fabricated words it spokes ,
it conceals my flesh in its smoke ,
tames my youth , leaving me to choke .

Let me rise above ,
Of this Self – Love ,
With you by my side
I would embark on this reviving ride .

I would lie down in your tender shade ,
Leaving behind all this facade .

I would hold on to your grip ,
Trying to evade this dreary trip .

I would like a spiral , contort into your gravity ,
Submerging myself in this recess till infinity .

I would be your’s entirely ,
Oh my soul !
Until , you disown me

Out of ,
This Pride
This Ego
This Insensitivity .

 

SUHAG – The Unfortunate Bliss

 

“Grandma , when will I find my Prince Charming ” asked she , with eyes full of glitter .
Her grandma , putting the storybook aside , smiled and assured her
“when she’ll grow up , she’ll find one , much like Cinderella ” .
She closed her eyes only to step into her dreamish stupor !
Her kiddish fantasies kept her engrossed. It was her world which was enigmatic yet surreal .
Nothing gave her more pleasure than to sit back and create that perfect effigy of her prince charming .

Her Days of wine and roses passed .
Years passed too .

And there she is today , looking bleakly at her faint reflection .
The merged sindoor on her forehead , the bindi , the half effaced lipstick , All amalgamated to display ther mercy on her face .
The mercy of being the pious bride.

Her tattered dignity ,

those marks on her arms ,

bruises that with time have embraced her body ,

wounds that never seemed to heal ,

scars on her forehead that has demarcated her fate , those scars which never will fade .

Eyes all soaked out .

Everything is evident .
Tangible to her .
Yet being ignorant is what she has been taught.

The bell rang again , her heart throbbed .
Deathly silence caped her.
Her each step quivered as she approached the door .

He stares at her , wipes her tears off , hugs her and whispers steadily …

“Honey , don’t angry me ever again . You know the scars are yet to be healed.
I LOVE YOU ” !

Finally , she found her Prince Charming .

And this wasn’t the Fairytale she believed in.

Beyond this HOUR OF SEPARATION

Gone are the days when my heart galloped barely by sensing their vicinity ,

Impelling my soul to immerse abysmally into their entity .

 

I showered upon them my endless love .

I dedicated for them my precious time .

Alas, which they remember as nothing more than a pass time.

 

I steered clear the hurdles from their path .

Subdued with the feeling of losing them ,

I took all their wrath .

 

Hiding the sufferings imbued in my melancholic eyes

Tacitly i cried ,

Still with a smile ,

i stood by their side

For a long while .

 

From the dusk till dawn ,

I was only used as a pawn .

 

Invariably they kept on hurting those fragile sentiments ,

However , these gushing waves of unrequited love again entrapped me in it’s turbulence .

 

For when i loved ,

I loved them vehemently ,

 

Giving them the vast ocean to pour their emotions ,

Giving them the wings to fly high with their aspirations ,

Feeding them honey ,

Dousing them in rose water ,

Hymning them the symphony of cascades ,

My boundless love for them forever will serenade.

 

I did it all ,

Burning within with fireballs.

 

But then they left ,

Each one by one ,

Etching their ghostly footprints ,

Abandoning my happy memories with their mortal visage imprints .

Blurring my vision ,

Leaving my words elision .

 

Giving me hard time to put back the pieces left scattered ,

I was so left to be shattered .

 

However , I consumed it all again ,

and left the door ajar

In the hopes that they will listen

Listen to these mourns ,

And feel this pain of departure

One day

When they will be left ALONE .